Definition of a bad son:

1. Mention repeatedly to your friends how nice it is not to be on the road this holiday season, driving ten hours both ways to see family.

2. Witness, while at said friends’ house, their conversation with both sets of parents.

3. Listen, earlier that morning, to your wife call her family.

4. Get home by 8pm, still with plenty of time left in the evening.

5. Completely fucking forget to call your family on Thanksgiving.

Dammit.