“I don’t want Fop, Goddammit, I’m a Dapper Dan man!”

My lovely wife, who does all the shopping for our household (it’s not a sexist thing, I just hate, really hate, really really hate, shopping), asked me what I needed at the store — I was getting low on shaving cream.

If Jackie has a failing in the area of shopping, it’s that she tries too hard. I love her for it, because she’s always trying to find something better than what we have already. She found me this during one such experiement, and I’ve been very happy.

Sometimes experiments work out for the best, sometimes they don’t.

But you see, I’m a guy — guy’s don’t really need a lot in the way of product innovation to be happy — left to our own devices, I think we’d probably still be using a stack of pinecones in the bathroom. (Except for this one guy I roomed with in college — man, was he a whiny git about the dorm hall TP… yeesh.)

So, getting to my point (shut up), when it comes to shaving cream, I know what I like. Innovation is not required. Improvement is not possible.

Doesn’t mean my baby’s not gonna try.

So this month, I have a can of Gilette shaving gel — the theory that it’s an improvement is based on the facts that (a) it costs more than Edge and (b) it’s made by the same wonderful people that made my razor, so it must be good, right?

Rule of thumb — don’t buy creamy things from a company that made its name with razors.