If a woman isn't present, it's in bad form to say excuse me if you are a male releasing gas from your body.

With the exceptions of...
1. Being in Jail, Prison or a Police Interview
2. Being in a Job interview
3. The dog wimpers or the cat hisses following the venting.

Yeah, but when the kid says "you're supposed to say excuse me", and we're actually trying to teach him manners he can use in public, you have to at least make the token effort.

As for the cat, that beast hisses at me if I breath too hard.

but wait...aren't you teaching him the all-important (and real-world) double standard? you know, 'ain't nobody here but us chickens.'

No, I handle that with the much-beloved "I can do it because I own the house" rule.

Unless he can get the whole alphabet out in one belch, he shouldn't be allowed. But hell, once he's passed that benchmark, the sky's the limit, really.

obviously, there's a misunderstanding. I'M the one that was trying to get away with just burping "excuse me".

You teach him urinal etiquette yet?

I have observed the urinal etiquette (during trips to movie theatres, etc.) -- he's got it down without help. I thing UE is something locked into the human male genetic code.

Seriously: anything I figured out on my own he can figure out on his own, unless I really SHOULDN'T have had to figure it out on my own.