“When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is any thing you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.”
-- Edgar Watson Howe

I’ve been working on this, as best as I’m able. As it stands, I’m commiting the slightly less annoying sin of saying “if there’s anything I can do, anything at all, just ask.”

But still, I’m trying — thinking of something to do and doing it… and hoping that it doesn’t in turn piss off whoever I’m trying to help, by not consulting with them first.

That's a really tough one. I'm always worried that, by *doing* something, I'm going to make things worse (or torque off the person who needs assistance, which might, at least, take their mind off their troubles briefly, but which is not the sort of help they're likely to want to get or I'm likely to want to give).

So, yeah, "Is there anything I can do" or "Let me know if there's anything I can do" is about as far as I'm likely to go, even though it still kind of puts the burden on the other party to actually ask for something (or figure out what that something should be), which can also be counter-productive.

It is a puzzlement.

If this is in regards to whether to get me that new 42" plasma tv, or the '65 Mustang, I've decided that both would be good.

On the other hand, Dave, there are little things that you can do that bridge the gap, things that almost always help a little, just in saying, "I care." For some people, it's flowers or chocolate, some, hugs, and YT will always appreciate a cup of hot tea.