'Sun not responsible for climate change'

The strongest evidence to date that the sun is not responsible for recent global warming has been set out by scientists.

The new study overturns claims by climate skeptics who say that the planet's climate has long fluctuated and that current warming is just part of that natural cycle - the result of variation in the sun's output and not greenhouse gas emissions.

The study found that global warming since 1985 has been caused neither by an increase in solar radiation nor by a decrease in the flux of galactic cosmic rays.

Prof Lockwood said that the comprehensive study was a response to misleading media reports. He cited the BBCs 'The Great Global Warming Swindle' as a prime example.

"All the graphs they showed stopped in about 1980, and I knew why, because things diverged afterwards. You can't just ignore bits of data that you don't like," he said. "The key point of our paper is that since 1985 all the possible solar influences have been in the wrong direction to produce warming," said Prof Lockwood.

Emphasis mine. Anyone else in the Colorado area want to sign up to get your electricity entirely from a windfarm? It's a quick and easy web form on Xcel's website, adds a few bucks to your bill, and is an entirely non-carbon-producing energy source. Right now, there's no wait to get onto the alternate power source, because the current subscriber level is below the farms' collective capacity.

Trouble brews in Germany as biofuel boom jacks up price of beer.

U.S. officials have raised a second round of unusually bluntly worded objections to a proposed global-warming declaration that Germany prepared for next month's Group of Eight summit, according to documents obtained by The Washington Post.

Here's a money quote from the U.S. rep:

"The treatment of climate change runs counter to our overall position and crosses multiple 'red lines' in terms of what we simply cannot agree to. . . We have tried to 'tread lightly' but there is only so far we can go given our fundamental opposition."

Nice.

Despite rising gas prices and a growing concern about climate change, the auto industry is going on the offensive to convince Americans to oppose dramatically higher fuel economy requirements.

Loyalty Day, 2007

In my opinion, this is one of the scariest things the Bush monolith theocracy administration has done, thus far.

Thirty-three people, including the gunman, were killed at a Virginia university Monday in the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. At least 15 other people were injured, some of them as they leaped to safety from the fourth floor of a classroom building.

The shootings, which took place in two locations on campus, came four days before the eighth anniversary of the Columbine High School bloodbath near Littleton, Colorado. They created panic and confusion at the college, where students and employees angrily asked why the first e-mail warning did not go out to them until the gunman had struck a second time, several hours after the first attack.

Possibly the worst mass-shooting in the country's history.

Two great spoofs of Mac's anti-PC ads, featuring the introduction of the third character, Linux. I thought it was funny, until Kate asked me in all honesty "there's another operating system out there, called Linux? Really?" *

Really.

In fact, as SEB reports, Dell is going to start offering the OS on even more of their PCs and Laptops (they already offer it for Servers and their "work" line of desktops).

Based on customer feedback Dell began soliciting last month, Dell said that top of mind among customers was that the company should begin offering Linux as an alternative to Windows on its personal computers, according to a posting on a company blog. Dell said it "has heard" what customers said and will act accordingly.

"We will expand our Linux support beyond our existing servers and Precision workstation line," the company said on its IdeaStorm blog. "Our first step in this effort is offering Linux pre-installed on select desktop and notebook systems."

This may very well induce my next computer purchase.

(* - And that's not to poke fun at Kate -- it's to register my surprise at the relatively low amount of presence that Linux has achieved in the public awareness.)

Best Buy admits to beyond-shady sales tactics.

So imagine this: Mega-store lists cheap prices online on their website and invites customers to come to the store to take advantage of them. When the customer gets there, a salesman loads up the fake website and shows them that the price has "gone up" while the customer was driving over to the store and offers to sell the item for the new price.

But why imagine? You can just shop at Best Buy instead!

State Attorney General Richard Blumenthal ordered the investigation into Best Buy's practices on Feb. 9 after my column disclosed the website and showed how employees at two Connecticut stores used it to deny customers a $150 discount on a computer advertised on BestBuy.com.

Blumenthal said Wednesday that Best Buy has also confirmed to his office the existence of the intranet site, but has so far failed to give clear answers about its purpose and use.

If I never, ever spend another dime in a Best Buy store...

... you know, the only thing that honestly surprises me about this story is that Best Buy admitted to it when faced with the evidence.

U.S. troops to forgo training in rush to Iraq.

Jesus wept.

Global warming: the final verdict

"The really chilling thing about the IPCC report is that it is the work of several thousand climate experts who have widely differing views about how greenhouse gases will have their effect. Some think they will have a major impact, others a lesser role. Each paragraph of this report was therefore argued over and scrutinised intensely. Only points that were considered indisputable survived this process. This is a very conservative document -- that's what makes it so scary."

Other related and critically important news: the affect of Global Warming on wine production.

The Bangor City Council approved a measure Monday that prohibits people from smoking in vehicles when children are present.

On the one hand, I think this is a good measure. On the other, it's a textbook example of legislation by the fictional, yet powerful, CSMA - "Concerned Soccer Moms of America" - originator of other winners like "playing tag on the playground is bad for self esteem," the people that make schools toss out the idea of a "failing grade," and an infinitude of useless PC, overprotective crap like that.

So I'm torn. Good legislation from largely annoying people.

The Spirit rover has now been on Mars for three years, and Opportunity's third anniversary will be January 24.

Two Broncos' players shot at, one killed.

This happened downtown about 2 in the morning on New Year's Day. Kate and I were able to reconstruct from the map of where the Hummer was found and the club they started from that we actually drove by the Hummer as it parked outside the club, waiting to pick up its passengers that night, probably about 20 minutes before the shooting -- Kate actually remembers seeing the Hummer outside the club -- I was driving, and so didn't. We didn't end up driving near where the shooting itself actually took place.

Metro area paralyzed by blizzard; CDOT seeks help to plow

Again I say, as I have for most of the last 24 hours: "Holy Friggin' Crap!"

A BLIZZARD WARNING is in effect through noon on Thursday for the I-25 corridor from Monument Hill north through Denver, Fort Collins and into Cheyenne, Wyo. as well as the adjacent plains all the way into Nebraska.

Travel conditions continue to be hazardous over the eastern plains with 50 mph winds. Motorists are urged to stay off the roads. Additionally, wind chills will dip dangerously low reaching down to negative 10 degrees.

Denver International Airport remains closed, and plans to stay closed until Thursday evening. 4500 passengers are currently trapped at DIA.

Snowfall should taper off to flurries sometime around 2:30 pm this afternoon, but high winds will still produce blowing and drifting over exposed areas.

Skies are expected to clear Thursday night with lows in the lower teens, but winds could still blow snow into drifts over the northeast corner of the state. Conditions are not expected to improve until Friday.

CDOT has put out a call for appropriately equipped contractors to help with plowing. Willing contractors should have snow removal equipment or loaders equipped with chains. Suitably equipped contractors are asked to call CDOT.

And I love their closer:

Due to the cold weather and blizzard conditions it is recommended that owners bring all pets indoors during this snow storm.

"If you trust Google more than your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors."
-- Jadelr and Cristina Cordova

Google makes a move into software market, announcing a package that will offer e-mail, calendar, instant messaging and web-page creation services.

For free.

Google Apps for Your Domain is a free service that bundles together the US internet giant's existing services -- Gmail, Google Talk, Google Calendar and Google Page Creator. The announcement sees Google stepping up the competition with Microsoft, which already offers packages such as Outlook and Exchange that provide e-mail, address book and calendar software.

The Google bundle is designed to provide these services via the internet, removing the need to manage any software or hardware for the services. The service is aimed at small businesses, students and non profit organisations. Further down the line Google plans to release a fee-based version of the service aimed at larger companies by the end of the year: this version will include extra data storage and technical support.

Analysts believe competition between the two giants could intensify further if Google decides to add its online spreadsheet, Google Spreadsheets, and word-processing, Google Notebook, applications to its Google Apps for Your Domain.

I haven't used the page desigher tool... I have used the spreadsheet tool, however, and it's perfectly functional.

You have to think this is going to be huge -- more and more, nonprofits and even some pretty big for-profit companies simply can't keep their employees licensed on the Microsoft products they actually NEED to do their job... this is going to lead to a big shift to services like Googles', a major shift in pricing on Microsoft products, or both.

Google is going to own the world, man... I'm telling you. In a way, that's kinda scary, but still... damn.

Microsoft... that's what I think is funny: they spent so much time crushing their direct competition that they didn't notice that Google had gotten so big in this other, uncontest hemisphere that they can swoop around and just... swallow the whole battlefield.

A list of non-liquid items like mouthwash powder, shampoo bars, and powdered tooth cleaners that are safe to carry on commercial airline flights.

Here's something interesting: imagine the consumer product world, as a 'near future science fiction' exercise, in which all major non-food (and even food) industries have shifted entirely to non-liquid versions of their current-day, modern antecedents.

Of course, in six to ten months, once there's an entire 'liquid-free for the frequent traveler' market of products ranging from makeup to yogurt, there'll be another anthrax scare and Powders will suddenly be the new black. (Or, in this case, the new Threat Level Orange.)

Meh.

To paraphrase Greg Rucka, calling it the War on Terror and acting as though it is an ongoing battle is idiocy: once people are afraid and, more to the point, make significant choices about their day to day life based on that fear, said "War on Terror" becomes a moot point; terror has already been delivered to its intended target.

Doesn't mean you can't have a War on Terrorism, I suppose, but that's a very different thing.

Anti-Gay Nuptials ban flops in Senate

A repeat attempt to ban gay marriage through a constitutional amendment died Wednesday in the Senate when it failed to garner approval from even half the 100 lawmakers.

Senators voted 49-48 in favor of a procedural motion that would have moved the measure ahead to an actual vote, but that motion required 60 yes votes.

The gay-marriage measure - sponsored by Sen. Wayne Allard, R-Colo. - had been expected to fail, but it fared more dismally than expected by backers.

Good. A thousand times good. Honestly, I'm appalled that is has even as much support as it does.

And let me apologize on behalf of my state for the jackasses presenting this bill in both the House and Senate. The degree to which people will use something as serious as a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT for a political gain is, flat out, disgusting.

The same-sex-marriage debate is part of an election-year political strategy by Republicans aimed at firing up conservatives in an election year, Democrats and analysts have said. Republicans now plan to argue for repealing taxes on estates valued at more than $4 million and on amending the Constitution to ban flag burning.

... and if that doesn't work, they plan to resort to the tried and tested "rubber/glue" campaign.

Also, do any of those fuckwits remember that the only official and legal way of disposing of a U.S. flag that has been worn out by use is by burning it?

I won't even go into statement made by our clearly mentally handicapped President, but I will wrap up by apologizing for Focus on the Family. I've been in Colorado over ten years, live only sixty miles from their "center", and I haven't slapped the shit out of any of their reps, yet. For that, I'm very sorry.

AOL and Google who are making their IM software interoperable, allowing someone using Google Talk to chat with an AIM user, and vice versa.

More than 30 die in London blasts

A series of bomb attacks on London's transport network has killed more than 30 people and injured about 350 others.

I have no words -- geographically, I couldn't be further removed from this event, and it's still as though someone attacked some of my fondest memories. My thoughts and prayers go out to those more immediately affected.

Update: Wikipedia entry.

An magnitude 8.2 earthquake just happened off the coast of Indonesia on the same fault line as the 9.0 back in December

NCSoft's Motion to dismiss against Marvel's suit against City of Heroes.

City of Heroes is a tool that encourages originality, not slavish copying. It allows young and old to exercise their imaginations to create super-powered beings and send them off to interact with the creations of other individuals in a virtual world called Paragon City. If it should be banned, then so should the #2 pencil, the Lego block, modeling clay, and anything else that allows one to give form to ideas. In Marvel’s view of the world, if people should play online games with super heroes, they must only play with licensed Marvel characters, and imagination shall be damned. Marvel’s attempt to monopolize online “hero” games and quash creativity has no basis, and its complaint should be dismissed.

Unless you've been working on getting your house ready for Christmas guests err, that is, been living in a cave, you've heard about the tsunami disaster. The death toll keeps going up -- I think it's over 125,000, and now they're talking food and clean water shortages, so expect diseases to start.

Anyway, for those of us who aren't able to help out in person, it's easy to donate money. Got an Amazon account? Good. Go. Tis the season for giving. Support some people that you'll never meet who really need it.

You are big liars.

Worse, you're bad liars.

The Justice Department comes up with a creative excuse for refusing a request for information about foreign lobbyists. It says providing such data risks irreparably crashing its computer system.

I have a thirteen-year-old kid -- I know bad liars when I see them, and that's a bunch of bad friggin' liars.

Dear Everyone in the Universe:

This woman is tougher than you.

A pregnant woman in Mexico gave birth to a healthy baby boy after performing a caesarean section on herself with a kitchen knife. It is thought to be the first known case of a self-inflicted caesarean in which both the mother and baby survived.

Madrid train bombs

Explosions have torn through three Madrid train stations during the morning rush hour with latest reports listing 173 people killed as a result of terrorist bombings.

Google rejects Microsoft's takeover bid.

In other news, sales of 'I'm with Stupid' t-shirts that point straight up at the wearer enjoy a massive upswing on the west coast.

In other news, this woman should be beaten.

A 2-year-old girl whose mother was in jail survived alone in an apartment for nearly three weeks on ketchup, mustard and food she found in the refrigerator and kitchen cupboards.

Why didn't the cops go get the girl? Because mom didn't tell them she had a daughter.

No? Not soul-searing enough? How about this: two weeks later, when the kid's dad finally finds mom at the jail, she tells him not to worry because the kid is with a neighbor.

She should never be allowed to see her daugher ever again. Period.

I don't know where that title came from. It just seemed like something fun to shout from a rooftop at night.

Anyway...

Homes on the Arctic tip of Norway started getting power from the moon on Saturday via a unique subsea power station driven by the rise and fall of the tide.
A tidal current in a sea channel near the town of Hammerfest, caused by the gravitational tug of the moon on the earth, started turning the 33-foot blades of a turbine bolted to the seabed to generate electricity for the local grid.

I just think this is a terribly cool way to power a town. Granted, with what they set up it's only going to handle the (small) town, but good grief, they did this up in the artic regions -- how much easier would it be to set stuff like this up off the East Coast?

We used to joke that Disney was going to hate DVDs, since a bunch of their revenue during the era of VCR tapes was from parents who had to repurchase tapes that their kids had simply worn out.

Turns out they've developed a solution.

I can't decide if I should be disgusted or really disgusted.

A Baghdad mother and father, to show their thanks to President Bush for the overthrow of Saddam Hussein, have named their son after the American leader (his full name is George Bush Abdul Kader Faris Abed El-Hussein).
Had the couple had twin boys, they say, the would have named them George Bush and Tony Blair.

"And if we'd had a daughter, we would have named her 'Please Put a Bullet in My Brain Jameela El-Hussein' -- it's all part of the theme," explained the parent, apparently oblivious to the angry neighborhood children creeping slowly up on the crib in the background.

News is circulating about a "good" virus that's roaming the Internet:

A new Internet worm emerged today that is designed to seek out and fix any computer that remains vulnerable to "Blaster," the worm that attacked more than 500,000 computers worldwide last week. The new worm scours the Internet for computers already infected with Blaster and deletes the "bad" worm, according to two anti-virus software vendors. The worm then fixes the computers with one of eight software patches developed by Microsoft Corp, and it uses infected computers as a base for searching the Internet for other vulnerable systems. Blaster and the new worm both target vulnerabilities in recent versions of Windows XP, Windows 2000 and Windows NT 4.0. Even though the new worm is "good," it can cause plenty of trouble for computer users ... Buried within the code of the new worm is the message: "I love my wife & baby :-) ~~ Welcome Chian ~~ Notice: 2004 will remove myself:-)~~ sorry."

Who says the modern world doesn't have its own fairy tales?

Canada begins the move to OK gay marriage and the US Supreme Court gives a thumbs-down to anti-sodomy laws across all states, with the added bonus that the case that brought the sodomy issue to the Court in the first place was centered around an interracial gay couple.

In related other news, famed segregationist and ultra-ultra-super-conservative Strom Thurmond dies.

The coroner did not in any way list "deep shock at the way the world's a-changin'" as the cause of death, but then again, no other cause of death is mentioned either. (Shush, you and your 'old age' theorists.)

November? Probably means next June, but at least it's moving forward.

The judges concluded that the wireless companies had filed their challenge too late, and they dismissed the industry's contention that the agency had misinterpreted what the law deems "necessary" to protect consumers.
The judges said the argument amounted to "dueling over dictionary definitions," which it called "pointless."

Hey, if they ever need corroborating testimony stating that the reason I haven't switched plans is because I didn't want to lose my phone number, I'll be happy to oblige. This is pretty good news.

Via Randy, an article that talks about why it might have been the Chinese people, not the Chinese government, that kept SARS a secret initially.

The Chinese official put it this way: "we are having a terrible time getting people to see doctors, even for routine physical checkups. And this is because of an event that took place back in the late 1940s, following Mao's revolution. At that time, the government promised to eradicate venereal disease in China. And it did. Everyone was forced to undergo an examination by a certified doctor. And anyone with venereal disease was executed. Ever since, most Chinese stayed far away from medical doctors."

Interesting supposition, but of course for all my love of things of the Far East, my knowledge of the politics of the area is far to limited to offer up any real thoughts on it.

Colorado DJs In Trouble Over Dixie Chicks: apparently, they started playing them on the air while the program manager still had them on the 'banned' list.

"I gave them an alternative," says station manager Grant. "Stop it now and they'll be on suspension, or they can continue playing them and when they come out of the studio they won't have a job."

I could not honestly care much less than I already don't about the Dixie Chicks career, but this is...

Okay, let's step back: who's the more ridiculous? The Program Manager for suspending the DJs (or, to go back a bit further, banning the band due to their political affiliation to begin with), or the DJs for risking their jobs over a band that the PM was planning on putting back into the rotation pretty soon anyway?

I just. Can't. Decide.

Bush administration set to lower WMD expectations.

Bush is trying to lower expectations. Not exactly a stretch.

In related news, I'm planning to maybe eat something later... like some chips and salsa or something. You know, whatever.

"I have no problem with homosexuality -- I have a problem with homosexual acts."
-- Rick Santorum, R-Pa., third-ranking Republican in the senate

The senator went on to explain that he believes homosexual acts are a threat to the American family and compared homosexuality to bigamy, polygamy, incest and adultery, just in case you weren't already regretting your well-publicized membership in the human race yet.

Pennsylvania, huh?

I (obviously, I would hope) disagree with the Senator, but there is a certain draw to the generic 'insert object of distrust here' nature of his statement. Let me try it out:

"I don't dislike morons, I dislike their actions (such as, say, speaking)."

"I don't dislike bigoted GOP misanthropes, I dislike their actions (see moron)."

See? The form of the sentence is very compelling. (Sophistry, and thus BS, but v. compelling.)

Sal Santana II, a 12-year-old Magoffin Middle School student, said he stuck his tongue out at a girl who declined his invitation to be his girlfriend. School district administrators viewed the incident as sexual harassment, suspended him for three days and are considering placing him in an alternative school.

In other news, Joey Pendleton, a fifth-grader at Orange County West Middle School was arrested for "inciting panic relating to bioterrorism and the SARS epidemic" (according to one school official) when he announced that "Lauri Jackson's got cooties." (Joey's parents are working to downgrade this to a misdemeanor slander on appeal.)

This news comes on the heels of last week's investigation of hate-crimes in the eastern Pennsylvania town of Seacrest, where one Pamela Jenkins allegedly wrote "Boys suck" on her math notebook during class and then carried it through the school to her locker "like a sign" according to one classmate.

NORTH DAKOTA – The state Senate has voted to keep a 113-year-old law that makes it a crime for unmarried couples to live together.

The proposal to repeal the anti-cohabitation law (which says a man and woman may not live together "openly and notoriously" as if they were married) was defeated 26-21.

The offence is listed among other sex crimes, including rape and incest. Violations carry a maximum 30 days in jail and a $1,000 US fine.

Just heard an news update on the radio. A chemical weapons team stationed in Iraq conducted a field test of some canisters from one of the caches they've found and report that it's Sarin Gas. Most is being sent out for lab testing.

The above quote was from a F-16 pilot interviewed by ABC about how he felt about being fired on during flight runs over Iraq. Currently, a plane that returns from a run is back in the air within an hour of touching down.

Kansas Priest Pleads Guilty to Sex Abuse.

Miller, who retired last year after the accusations became public, also is accused of abuse in more than 80 of the 214 lawsuits that have been filed in the past year against the Archdiocese of Louisville. The plaintiffs -- all now adults -- say the church was aware of the abuse by priests but did nothing to stop it.

That's that cases against his church -- there is a different list of charges being brought against him, personally.

What I want re: news coverage on the war is a page that sums up, instead of getting 'by-the-minute' shots of 'might be' news.

"It is Monday @ 9 am. We've collected all the news bits that were flying around from 12:01 am Sunday to 11:59 pm Sunday, given it time to settle down and shake out for 8 hours, and here's our summary of everything that happened yesterday, in bullet format.
[insert list of newsworthy bits, with links]
Tune in the same time tomorrow for our summary of what's going on today."

Nobody's perfect, but if you're into this idea, you might check out Nextdraft. As I was typing this I realized that that's basically what it does.

Thousands of Palestinians have marched to protest about the war in Iraq and urged Saddam Hussein to strike Israel with chemical weapons.

Wow. Psychotic break, much?

I get the Israeli/Palestinian hate-fest, I do, but please make the connection between Protest A and Genocidal Request B a little less tenuous next time. Please?

Isreal and the Elders of Zion are not behind the war on Iraq. It's not about Isreal (all of the enraged Koran-smoting militant-Muslim world to the contrary).

I don't know (well, I'm not willing to bet hard money on) what it is about, but it's not that. Get over it.

So yesterday, two men captured by Iraq and paraded on al-Jazeera television as British soldiers raised something of a bemused stir... basically the British military reviewed the tapes and said "Ahh... terribly sorry old son, but we don't believe those fellows are ours. I mean to say, well, one of them has dreadlocks down to his shoulders, and that's just not cricket."

Turns out the two guys are truck drivers contracted to the British army to deliver food aid to Iraqi prisoners of war.

POWs shown on TV were aid drivers

A column of up to 1,000 Iraqi military vehicles made up of troops from the Republican Guard is heading south from Baghdad toward the lead elements of the U.S. Army's 3rd Infantry Division. They think they're trying to retake a Euphrates River bridge captured by U.S. troops this week. U.S. commanders were calling in airstrikes to slow the Iraqi advance but the sandstorms are limiting the use of jets in that area and have made helicopters completely irrelevant for probably two more days.

At nearly the same time, a column of ~100 Iraqi armored vehicles rolled out of Basra heading southeast. Coalition fighter jets were scrambled to intercept them (the weather's not really as bad to the south). This move is curious:

x They appear to be heading either into a cul-de-sac (a southern penisula held by coalition forces), or defecting to Iran.
x They left the protection of the city for the open sand -- storm or no storm, this is a bad move, as they are currently "Getting the Living Crap Blown Out of Them" in the sophisticated parlance of the Military.
x The gist of all the news I've seen on this is that everyone knows what the larger column is doing, and no one knows what the smaller one is doing. From a paranoic gamer's point of view, this immediately makes me suspect the smaller column of something duplicitous.

What more is there to do but link the story?

It's such a change from the last Gulf War, where we bombed the crap out of things from miles away and (of course) didn't achieve any sort of solid enemy containment. This time: more control, higher cost.

--

Justin asked me this morning "So... why are we fighting a war?"

Oh bud, if only the answer were simple.

China want an immediate end to US action in Iraq.

Immediate.

I'll just let Dave handle this one.

Over the weekend, the London Observer broke a story suggesting that the Bush administration had engaged in "dirty tricks" by conducting surveillance on members of the U.N. to get a better read on how they planned to vote on a possible second resolution. The story is huge overseas. Anyone seen it around here?

This is one of those reasons why the average American can't understand why the world at large is sort of disgusted with us -- the average American doesn't always know what's going on.

Well, people have been talking more about Saddam than North Korea for more than 36 hours, which means the news-whore that runs that country has to Do Something to get his face back on the cover of Newsweek: North Korea intercepts a U.S. reconnaissance plane.

A U.S. Air Force RC-135 reconnaissance aircraft was intercepted over the Sea of Japan (over international waters) on Sunday by four armed North Korean MiG fighter jets, one of which locked its weapons-targeting radar onto the U.S. plane.

This just in….

Last night on one of the local news casts they had blip about the new record holder for fattest house cat. And no, it is not Thomas kitty.

50 pounds with a 27" waist…

the vids of it make it look like a big fuzzy beach ball with legs.

I found this to be an interesting piece. Especially since our host's might be going to see this soon. That is if they aren't too grumpy.

Stonehenge "King" from Central Europe

Hey there, Rey "She did things to me" Herrera here, guest-blogging for the old Tester-Man.

And now, without further ado...

The open-minded, forward thinking Colorado lawmakers are possibly close to passing a new law to classify pets as "companions" rather than "property", paving the way for yet another avenue for frivolous lawsuits in an already ridiculous legal system.

Mom: I'm sorry Timmy, but your hamster Fluffy is dead.
Timmy: Did you take him to the vet?
Mom: Yes. There was nothing we can do.
Timmy: Let's sue his ass!

The bill: Up to $100,000.00

How many hamsters do you think that could buy?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a person for the ethichal treatment of animals (though not a member of PETA -- that's a whole other rant) and think it's probably a great idea. I just shudder to think of the string of hair-brained schemes that my tax dollars will have to pay to judiciate.

But hey, at least your pets will now have more rights to your money than your same-sex life partner.

This is just weird and creepy and fun: Gate-Crasher Hands Bush 'Message From God'

"It's just God, buddy," Weaver told Montgomery. "They asked everyone else for a ticket. They didn't ask me." With his conservative blue suit, neat haircut and hearty, gregarious manner, Weaver easily passed through the metal detector. "I don't try to sneak in," Weaver explained. "I just go where I feel like God wants me to go."

Crackpot? Maybe, but I dig the way he's so self-effacing and blase about wandering into a secure conference, taking a picture with the Senate majority leader with a disposable camera he brought with him, and then walking right up to the president after moving aside a theatre rope that was put there by the Secret Service. Nice.

"The threat level is definitely up. Our guys have been told to act as if we have already bombed Iraq," one senior counterterrorism official told CNN.

Really? I would think that this would be the worst possible time to make a terrorist attack. I mean, I don't doubt that Bush et al. is going to attack Iraq, but right now he doesn't have the full support of the country -- there are many vocal people out there who question the motives.

Bomb us. Blow something up. Remove all partisan bickering. Yes, surely that would help your cause.

After the bombing starts? Sure, I see that there's a threat there, because then it might be seen as a 'desperate response' -- at least it might be spun that way.

But now, with so many people on the fence? If the terrorists were that stupid, we'd have stopped them by now.

The Digital Dark Age, via Randy.

I don't know why I'm surprised by this, or even if I am -- I've got a one-act play I wrote in college that I can't read, and tons of files from back in that era that are only really printable out of notepad, if I'm lucky (something that makes the annoying format of the Project Gutenberg files make sense).

Quote from Clinton today:

"We have relied on a myth of homeland security a myth written in rhetoric, inadequate resources and a new bureaucracy instead of relying on good old-fashioned American ingenuity, might and muscle. The truth is we are not prepared, we are not supporting our first responders, and our approach to securing our nation is haphazard at best."

That would be Hillary Clinton.

Justin's studying World War Two stuff in school right now. Earlier this week he asked me what kosher meat was. I explained the process by which kosher food was processed (as well as I could with limited knowledge and welcome to anyone who can email me a link that describes it clearly), and asked why he was wondering. He told me that he had been looking up stuff on Hitler and one of the anti-Jewish things he'd done was ban kosher meat in Germany.

Huh. Didn't know that.

Read Lilek's Friday Bleat this morning (upper right hand corner, on the link bar), and picked up on a link near the end that mentioned a disturbing news bit: at least five countries have banned kosher food production, and one of them (Switzerland) is considering halting all import of kosher meat.

Neat. How is an orthodox Jew supposed to live in Switzerland?

Pretty obvious answer.

The latest nation to join the movement is Holland, where the ruling was drafted as a law concerned with cruelty to animals.

The article is quite biased on the topic, but amongst the rhetoric there are actual facts, and they are undisputed.

I know the U.S. is no angel when it comes to issues of hate crimes, but I live here so I'm sort of stuck with dealing with that fact. On the other hand, we're going to England (where anti-Semetic hate crimes have risen by 400% since 2000) in February, and I have to admit this whole thing makes me less enthusiastic about the trip. Somehow it just feels like you're condoning it by going to the trouble to visit and spend your vacation money in a country with those kinds of problems.

I don't know. It's early and I'm babbling, but there you go.

Googles AdWords advertising system, where advertisers pay less if their ad is more successful is a huge hit with advertisers, users, and especially Google.

Really interesting stuff. Seems like just the thing for small and medium businesses.

Michael Jackson rewarded fans outside his Berlin hotel with a brief appearance and a glimpse of his youngest child -- dangling the toddler over a fourth-floor balcony.

Cripes. It's not like the guy needs to provide the press with any more ammunition.

Wait a second...

I'm laying five-to-one odds he did it just to get attention for having done it.

James Coburn came up in a conversation recently. We were watching Monsters Inc. and while I couldn't name the voice actor for the corrupt CEO, I knew exactly who it was: he'll always be George Kaplan to me, and thanks to IMDB that's really all I needed to know.

The voice, the preternatural calm, the sharp spark in his eyes, these are all good things, but what always struck me about Coburn was that he really seemed to enjoy himself -- he was simply happy to be acting.

This didn't get any play where I posted it first, so let's try it here:

The United States and Britain warned their citizens to avoid a camel bazaar in western India because of the risk of terrorist activity.

"That's right," one British spokesperson said to a group of sniggering reporters. "I said 'camel bazaar' -- yes, a real terrorist thre -- oh, honestly, you bloody... quit laughing!"

As near as the reporters were able to determine (what with the distraction from all the chuckling and head-shaking and asking themselves what else Britain and the U.S. would think up to add to the pile of directionless dread they seem hellbent on heaping on the general public to keep the war-fervor high), the centuries-old bazaar is held annually in the desert town of Pushkar, in Rajasthan state some 200 miles southwest of New Delhi, putting it about 1600 miles east-by-northeast of Friggin' Nowhere. Hundreds of thousands of camels, horses and cattle are sold during the fair, which has become a popular tourist event.

"Well it has," one U.S. spokesperson, nearly reduced to tears, shouted over the resurgent peals of helpless laughter from the pressbox. "It has so become a popular tourist event."

"While we have no indication of a specific threat to American citizens, we advise that they should avoid this event," the U.S. Embassy statement said of the Pushkar bazaar. "Not as though we need to say that, really." He might have continued. "Seriously, there isn't any more chance that American tourists will be visiting a camel bazaar in Pushkar than there is of a salient thought pushing it's way to the front of GW's head... wait, is this mic still on?"

The British Embassy issued a similar advisory about the camel bazaar. "Pushkar fair, which starts today, is assessed as being a potential target of terrorist activity," the statement said, calling upon all the famed self-control in entire British genepool to keep a straight face.

Neither embassy said what terrorist group posed a threat at Pushkar -- as yet they've been unable to find a legitimate terrorist group even willing to admit they know where the bazaar is at.

"You can't be serious, Pushkar?" one alleged terrorist muttered. "Great Merciful Allah, they're really reaching now, y'know?"

Talking with my mom sometime around November 3rd, the elections came up. Her comment to me was that it was a shame that both of the guys running for Senate couldn't win -- they were both well-liked in the state and seemed to be nice guys. I guess this supports that theory: Thune (R) concedes defeat in S.D. Senate race.

Kind of shocking that a senator, no matter how nice a guy would give up on a recount of a result he only lost by 500 votes (especially when the state laws allow it at that point), in 'the interests of ridding ourself of divisions within the state as soon as possible'.

Admittedly, if he won the recount nothing would really change in the Senate, so it would be a pretty hollow, meaningless, petty victory, but... isn't that what the Senate is all about?

--

In other South Dakota electoral news, the guy that beat me out for 'Governor' in the South Dakota State Boys Camp my junior year ran for a State Senate seat this year (he turned around and made me press secretary or something, I think). No idea if he won, but my guess is that eventually he will.

Bryce Healey -- sort of David Letterman crossed with Tom Daschle. His name's going to be in the news for a long time, I think.

A bird the size of a small airplane was recently spotted flying over southwest Alaska, puzzling scientists, the Anchorage Daily News reported this week.

"We're puzzled," the scientists in question might have reiterated. "There's really nothing more we can add to this. We'd like to state for the record that we want to study this animal (assuming it really exists) and determine it's origin and species and maybe say something about the wonders that nature provides, but we're absolutely sure some kerosene-sipping trapper is going to blow off the back of this thing's skull within the next week before we even get a chance, so really, what's the point?"

The newspaper quoted residents from the villages of Togiak and Manokotak and several other even more far-fetched-sounding and improbable and stereotypically Alaskan place names as saying the creature "had a wingspan of 14 feet" -- making it the size of a small airplane. Yes, we're repeating the 'size-of-a-plane' analogy, but it's really the only thing we've got at this point, so back off.

"At first I thought it was one of those old-time Otter planes," the paper quoted Moses Coupchiak, 43, who conducted a phone interview with a local reporter before being mysteriously cut off.

The Daily News, the largest daily in Alaska with circulation numbering in the tens of fives, said scientists had no doubt that people in the region west of Dillingham had seen the winged creature, but they were skeptical about its reported size.

"We've tried to get verifiable reports from the local townspeople, but the whole place was completely empty when we got there," one (puzzled) scientist stated. "I just don't understand it; don't these yokels want their fifteen minutes? I mean, it's not like there's anything else to do up here but talk to us; where would they have gone?"

Several chartered flights have been sent out in attempts to verify reports, but as yet none have returned.

"Again, we're puzzled," scientists stated while scratching their heads. "Not worried, but puzzled. Sure, it's been three days and all the flights were little Piper Cubs with no extended fuel reserves -- actually about the same wingspan as the bird everyone says they've seen, but hey, they're probably all lying anyway. Seriously, a giant bird? That kind of stuff just doesn't happen."

Following the press conference, the scientists all decided to split up and wander into the wilderness alone to see what they could find out.

Congress: Provide us with an overview of the role your agency would play in a potential war in Iraq.
CIA: No.

In other news, the Pentagon order a lot of sunblock. Hmm.

...whispering something about 'six hundred dollar hammers'."

The companies that hire airport screeners have raised their rates dramatically now that the government has taken over airport security efforts.

(also via Nextdraft)

Federal appeals court to Bush Administration: "Democracies die behind closed doors."

About time somebody got their wrist slapped over this and other liberties taken in the last... oh, let's say 11 months.

(via Nextdraft, which finally made it to my mailbox intact after almost two weeks)

Raise your hand if this phrase chills you to the bone: White House lawyers have concluded that President Bush faces no legal requirement to get Congressional approval to launch an attack on Iraq.

I vaguely recall a phrase in seventh grade social studies... something about "checks and balances". Maybe it was a hallucination from the chalk dust.

I am shockingly above average.

One day out of five? Amateurs.

JFK Airport security guards forced a woman to drink her own breast milk in front of other passengers before boarding a flight to prove she wasn't carrying any dangerous fluid to wreak havoc.

In related news, I contemplated mandatory beatings as punishment for being inexusably stupid from approximately 3:45pm to 3:50pm today.

From the news coverage on Bush's summit on child abductions: When you read down to the third or fourth paragraphs of most of the stories that cover the summit announcement, you'll find (carefully hidden) that there hasn't been any major increase in child abductions.

The numbers have in fact decreased slightly in recent years.

Not saying it isn't an important topic.
Not saying the summit won't do some good.
Am saying the media is over-exposing the topic (again).

Two days after the program was launched amid widespread fear it would be prone to breaches of privacy, personal data was accidentally released on over 2500 people taking part in Japan's new nationwide identification system.

Should I point out that Japan is one of those countries that most Americans think of as technologically advanced (generally because, compared to us, they are)? Do I need to mention that some groups favor a similar plan for the U.S.? Does it need to be stated that if anyone can take an already screwed up plan and screw it up even more, it's the feds?

Nah. Too easy.

A vacuum device, known as the BRAVA system, requires women to wear two plastic domes over their breasts for 10 hours a day for 10 weeks straight to achieve breast enhancement. The domes are connected to a battery operated, computerized vacuum device. Skipping even a day adds a week to the treatment.

It's "almost an ideal procedure", one doctor stated.

In another medical breakthrough, doctors have learned that the Rack may be the best thing going in terms of treatment for lower back pain.

"You see," one researcher explained, "the subject is tied across a board by his ankles and wrists, then rollers at either end of the board are turned, pulling the body in opposite directions. This torque does wonders for the lower back. Yes, dislocation of every joint in the body sometimes occurs, but other than that, it's almost an ideal procedure."

Kudos to Yahoo for the most ironic headline of the day: Human Space Exploration Goes Global.

Well yes, it would at least have to do that, wouldn't it?

The director of a rehabilitation center for priests accused of molesting children has been suspended over sexual abuse allegations dating to the 1970s.

No one from the church could be reached for comment (because they're all in jail, p'raps?).

... gah.

I mean, yeah, I know that the Catholic Church has governed itself for like a rilly rilly rilly long time, but y'know...

This shit is still a felony. You have. to. keep. track.

I got my first cell phone through Voicestream (it was cheap). Unsurprisingly, I didn't like the network much, so when I had a good excuse (work-related travel) about six months later, I switched. That was quite some time ago, and while I've changed plans a few times since then, I've never changed carriers.

Which isn't to say there hasn't been ample incentive to do so. I don't travel nationally as much as I used to, and if you're not using AT&T's "One Rate" plan (which is still an excellent plan if you're in a situation that calls for it), then there are other equally viable networks available.

But I've had this number a long time -- it's the number everyone (and I mean everyone) knows to contact me by and the contact number I give in any and all situations (especially since I don't have to worry about solicitors using it). I have trouble remembering the phone number for our home line (which doesn't even have long distance service attached -- why bother?), but my cell number is burned in my brain, right next to my SSN (thanks to years of liberal arts college).

In short, while I may be unsatisfied with my current set up, I have no intention of even considering another carrier until the cellular companies finally go along with the government's directive to make cellular phone numbers transferable between carriers in the same way that land lines are.

Guess I'll have to keep on waiting.

Via nextdraft:

"Teachers are under incredible pressure right now from two places: from policymakers to raise standards and teach to those higher standards. Then on the other side you have parents giving pressure to teachers not to hold kids up to the high standards. Teachers are between a rock and a hard place ... It's an area ripe for lawsuits."

This makes me angry. Not necessarily at the school district or the teacher, who simply responded to legal threats -- after all, who wouldn't cave in, living in a society where people can get a million dollars for admitting that they're too stupid to realize that hot coffee means hot coffee?

I'm angry the parents. For not caring until the last minute, for throwing money at the problem in a way that does nothing to address the actual problem, for letting it all slide. For not parenting.

Justin's been behind in school a for a long time. Right now, his math aptitude tests meet the requirements to qualify for sixth grade (first time ever!), and his reading scores are barely months behind. Even with this, his organization skills are woeful, and he frequently gets docked letter grades for losing assignments (in his desk) that he's completed, and then turning them in late.

Sometimes those grades end up being pretty damn poor, and we've talked with his teachers about the benefits of holding him back. (In his case, since he does 'get' the material, they convinced us that he should continue to advance, since organization is something he must work on regardless.)

It's obvious to me that in today's school system, we're an anomaly. We get blank stares when we make it clear that we think that the effort should come from us as much as the school district.

Teachers are so busy backpedaling away from angry accusations that they don't have time to teach anymore.

It seems a key to getting promotions in the modern workplace is working late. (It might also help to reduce blogging.)

I don't know what to say about this; I don't come in early, either, and since the office is small and privately owned, lots of higher-ups pull longer hours.

But that's not what I'm up to. There's other things I want my time to go towards. I like my job fine, but it's just my job.

A study by the Women's Health Institute indicates that hormone therapy does a whole lot more harm than good. A five year study has indicated that common forms of hormone therapy increase a woman's risk of breast cancer, heart disease, strokes and blood clots by significant margins.

This bothers me on a number of levels. I know people who are getting hormone treatment at this moment. They're considering stopping, but they've already done it for a year.

This is also a treatment for cancer. FOR cancer... and it might cause it?

How long has the average U.S. life expectancy been around 72 years? Since then, have we actually improved anything, or are we just mucking around?

Enron was around $400 million.
Worldcom: 3.4 billion
Xerox: 2 billion

Peanuts. Chaff. Confetti. Parsley.

Drug giant Merck & Co. recorded $12.4 billion in revenue from the company’s pharmacy-benefits unit over only the past three years that the subsidiary never actually collected.

I think my parent's house is made of this stuff

More stuff about Palladium, Microsofts "Security Initiative" can be found here. (My first comment on this is here.)

Excerpt:

Under Palladium as I understand it, the Internet goes from being ours to being theirs. The very data on your hard drive ceases to be yours because it could self-destruct at any time. We'll end up paying rent to use our own data

But how will this stop the "I just e-mailed you a virus" problem? How does this stop my personal information being sucked out of my PC using cookies? It won't. Solving those particular problems is not Palladium's real purpose, which is to increase Microsoft's market share. It is a marketing concept that will be sold as the solution to a problem. It won't really work.

I've seen the new pay-structures that have been sent out to Microsoft Solutions Providers, and I'll tell you that what MS is aiming for is a situation where you pay what is essentially a leasing fee in order to use your OS every year or two -- updates are mandatory, and a fee will be charged. With this hardware initiative, they can make you do the same thing for your hardware, and you don't own anything.

Think of it in terms of books -- in this scenario, every book you own is technically accessible only via the system presented by the "National Library" -- if the "National Library's" system goes down, you can't access your books... and you have to pay to use the system.

Oh, and the "National Library" is the only publisher left in the country, so they decide not only what gets printed, but what the production quality is.

Screw this. 2000 was my last Microsoft OS. I don't care what cool games I won't be able to run, be damn it if I don't have all my machines on Linux by this time next year.

British Scientists: "Lets build small, hard to track robots that can learn, force them participate in a neverending deathmatch, and see what happens."

Robots: "Let's get the hell out of here."

"It's amazing, we knew they were learning, but this is really surprising" said one scientist as he massaged the stumps of three missing fingers on his right hand (the result of a 'playful bit of mischief' earlier this year), "don't worry, though: there's no real danger from these little scamps even if they did escape. I mean, they've been doing nothing but trying to find better and more efficient ways to destroy each other for over a three and a half months, or 'the 10511000 seconds of hate' as they like to call it... and they've somehow learned to apply this killing rage to tasks other than those we define, but where's the harm?"

It seemed he would have continued in this vein for several more minutes, but it was at about this point that all the lights in the facility went out. Someone said "they cut the power again" at which point the first scientist laughed nervously in the cold, cold darkness and said "they cut the power? How could they cut the power? They're animals."

After that, it was mostly just screaming.

My numbers were off: there are currently ~9 forest fires burning in Colorado right now. The feds, who cover 75% of firefighting costs, have shelled out 20 million for the Hayman fire alone, and it's not remotely under control (although it's going west, not east).

The Governor has announced a ban on smoking (that would be cigarette smoking) out of doors. Interesting, since you can't smoke indoors in most places, either.

The Hayman fire is now the biggest in Colorado's recorded history as a state.

Two illustrative bits:

1. "Fire season" doesn't officially start for 5 or 6 more days -- someone forget to get that message out to the morons building campfires during a drought.
2. There are (I think) five OTHER fires currently burning elsewhere the state BESIDES this monster.

Maternity wards around the country are gearing up and doctors are practicing saying "okay, we're going to need you to push" in front of their mirrors. Reason? This summer is expected to play host to a serious baby boom, brought on by the events of 9/11.

Ignore the last 17 warnings. Ignore the fact that Cheney can't make his dire predictions without rubbing his hands together in glee at an American populace that, dumbstruck, slowly succumbs to the leeching of personal and civil liberty until our neighborhoods look like one of the towns that IT controls in A Wrinkle in Time.

The terrorists are still coming, you have to believe us; we're here to protect big oil your interests and keep you cowed and pliable safe. Believe us.

You do? Good. Now go outside and play -- remember to bounce those balls in unison, chilluns.

and the world looks on, cringingly.

Maybe most of us subconsciously consider it a step forward in the intellectual and spiritual advancement of our species that just because we can kill these powerful and spiritually loaded creatures without wiping them out entirely, just because there might be enough of them to chop up a few hundred for a snack, doesn't mean we actually should.

One of the arguments I used to have with my former coworker was about global warming and the environment and what the human race was doing to facilitate the former and trick-fuck the latter. His assertion, which is true-as-far-as-it-goes, is that we can't actually destroy the planet with global warming -- we might wipe ourselves off the planet, and it might take ten thousand or ten million years for the Global Reset Button to finish it's recycling, but the planet itself would still be here, and we would not -- and if we fuck ourselves, then that's that.

My counter-argument is that we are not alone on this ball of dirt, and while we might (arguably) be the first sentient species to have developed here, it's unlikely (in fact, impossible) that evolution just stopped as soon as Man started walking and talking -- we have a responsibility to those that come after us to make the beginner mistakes and learn from them without destroying their chances at "getting a turn" -- our actions inform the future, and it's not just about us.

It was one of the only times where I think I 'won' an argument like that with him, or really with anyone on a subject that volatile.

Vice President Dick Cheney said Thursday that congressional Democrats need to be "very cautious" about their criticism of the Bush administration's decision not to disclose intelligence before Sept. 11 that terrorists wanted to hijack U.S. airplanes.

Following this observation, Cheney made one of those Count Dooku-esque eloquent-but-unreadable finger motions that Christopher Lee uses throughout AotC to direct incredibly complex operations with the minimum of expended energy, at which point jack-booted National Guardsmen wearing the new "HS" lightning-bolt patch denoting their transfer to Homeland Security double-timed into the room and positioned themselves around the edge of the room with locked and loaded M-16s.

"Very careful," Cheney may have repeated himself, "very careful indeed."

...at which point Jesus himself manifested in the flesh and stood before Cole and shook his head and sighed heavily and proceeded to smack Cole's whiny little sexless self-righteous ass upside the head with a petrified hymnal, before leaning in real close to his ear and whispering in a harsh, bitter tone, "Of course you realize you and your little indignant neutered mindset are exactly the reason intelligent and sentient and soulful creatures worldwide shun what organized religion has become like roadkill, right?"

5-year-old girl expelled from kindergarten because mother is a nude dancer

The irony here being that (ostensibly) mom took the job, in part, to pay for her kid going to the school.