The Justice Department will allow the FBI to check for specific items amongst the belongings and background of people detained after the 9/11 attacks: Strawberry pop tarts, stocking hats, fax paper, not guns, pizza, Nerf balls, wind socks, actual socks, boxer shorts, boxing gloves, not guns, Turkish towels, Turkish taffy, lip balm, tiger balm, bright yellow mittens, dark blue mittens, not guns, puppy chow, chicken chow mein, chicken fajitas, KFC receipts, sofa pillows, not guns, beer hats, dried roses and remaindered copies of “Dave Barry Does Japan.”

But not guns.