This is the time of year when everything is behind. Bills take 5 extra days to send, oil takes 500 extra miles to change, and the boy needs 5 times as much encouragement to get anything done. Happens every March, but this year is special, because this year, the boy has learned “Why?”
Closing in on the teen years when ‘why’ evolves into ‘screw this’, I haven’t exactly welcomed this new development with open arms.
“Clean your room or you won’t get to hang out with us tonight when everyone comes over.”
“Why?”
“… excuse me?”
“Why do I have to clean my room to hang out with everyone tonight?”
The fact of the matter is, ladies and gentlemen, that the answer to that specific question is (god help me) “Because I said so.” (Translation: “cuz them’s the rules.”)
Now, if his question then becomes “why do you say so?” it gets more complicated, devolving into a discussion of why one wants one’s house to look nice when people come over, and why we’re teaching him to be the sort of person who isn’t embarassed to have a guest in his home because of the mess.
Lately, the discussions have been getting complicated. They always do in March.
Every year, March is a little bit better: he doesn’t get in fights anymore, and we don’t get calls from the teacher about his behavior.
Every year, March is a little bit worse: while school is apparently(?) good, his home behavior currently has him grounded off everything but homework, sleeping, food, and oxygen until mid-April, 2006.
Doesn’t help that we’re behind. Tired. Beat down and fed up. I get sick of being grounded just as much as he does, and anyone who thinks that the parents aren’t just as grounded as the kid who gets grounded is fooling themselves. Grounding sucks for everyone.
Look around — parents unwilling to ground their kids are probably not trying to be nice — they simply aren’t willing to screw with their own lives to the degree that punishment of this nature requires.
(And if they think they’re being nice to the kid, they should think further ahead, when the kid will get fired instead of grounded.)
What’s next? April, May… the end of this schooling cycle and maybe a respite from this level of … crap, stress, whatever this is.
—
This morning:
“We had a bad night last night, huh?”
He nods, staring at his shoes. “Yeah.”
I give him a hug. “Well, maybe today will be better.”
“Man, I hope so.”
—
Me too, little man, me too.
