From the morning fix:

The leader of a Boy Scout troop has pleaded guilty to repeatedly sodomizing one of his young charges. Jerrold Schwartz, scout master of Manhattan’s Troop (I’m not kidding) 666, pleaded guilty to four counts of third-degree sodomy. The Catholic Church, flustered and relieved, immediately released a hastily prepared statement, saying “See? See? It’s not just us! I mean, it mostly is, and we’re deeply messed up about the whole sex thing in general and the gay sex thing in particular and pedophilia is way, way wrong, but see? Boy Scout troops! Sodomy! Evil is everywhere! Can you leave us alone now please for just five friggin’ minutes? I mean, Jesus with a riding crop and some Kama Sutra Hot Love Oil, like we’re the only sexually perverted doctrine-huggers in the world right now and does no one care to remember all the friggin’ charity work and the soup kitchens and the whole ministering-to-the-sick-and-infirm thing?” the Church continued to grumble and mutter, long after everyone had stopped listening, as it shuffled down the street into to the holy dive bar for a sacred double scotch rocks and much heavy sighing.

Here’s the article.