We have a very clear (and short — I think there are seven) set of rules that Justin is required to abide by, and #1 is “Do not Lie.” (Seriously, it’s on a magnet on the front of our refridgerator. There’s another copy in his room. Many of you have probably seen it.)

The punishments for breaking each of these rules is Set in Stone, and never varies (he needs structure as much as anything else): some earn a week of grounding, some result in some extra duty around the house, et cetera — I daresay Justin can recite each of the related punishments by heart.

We also (and this is important) provide POSITIVE incentives for obeying the rules.

With some of these rules we’ve had great success: he doesn’t get into fights anymore or take things from other kids at school, for example. Some of these were huge problems when he got here, and generally they’re ‘fixed’.

But then there’s the lying… oh lord, it’s like Creeping Jenny — it just keeps coming back. The reason for this is simply that he was rewarded for lying where he used to live — people let it go and/or left him alone simply because they became frustrated with trying to get the truth out of him — also, he saw his role-models doing the same thing.

So after some consideration, the standard “one week of grounding” for lying has been modified to include: “and 10 swats on the butt.” (Bare-handed, with his pants on.)

Yeah, corporal punishment, one of the greatest of all great hot topics of parenting.

I’m not happy about it, but I’m not going to cover it up, either. I think that if we were instituting this sort of punishment in anger or in secrecy, that it somehow crosses a line between punishment and abuse. That’s a line I’ve no intention of crossing, so we have this post.

Mostly I’m just frustrated that we’re at this point. Like most of Justin’s punishments, this is one that we dislike as much as he does, but we’ve come to the conclusion that the punishment has to be even more undesirable than usual in the case of lying, because it’s so ingrained.

And boy, does he hate it. Hates it so much, in fact, that he might actually try not to lie.

Here’s hoping. I’m looking forward to the day when we can start removing things from that list of rules, simply because they’re no longer relevant. We’ll start from the bottom rule, and work our way up…

#7. Listen to your Aunt and Uncle.

… hey, wait a minute.