So once upon a time (back when he first got out here and was figuring out the Boundaries) Justin asked if he could get his ear pierced.

Now, I can’t simply say ‘no’ without being a hypocrite (since I’ve had a couple holes grow shut and still have one in use), but at the time there were any number of gut instincts screaming “no!”

What I told him was “Get through a full year without getting in a fight (logic connection: no fights = lowered chance of some dumbass ripping it out of his ear) and we’ll work it out.”

That pretty much put a lid on things until recently. An offhand comment from us last night reminded him that he’s been through the last two years without a referral from school for that sort of activity, and that once upon a time…

“Hey, can I get my ear pierced now?”

Ooh. Tricky. It’s not like I can say “this is a very bad idea” without him looking pointedly at my own head.

Which doesn’t mean it’s not a bad idea — with a bunch of 12 and 13 year olds, it is a bad idea — not because of him but because of them and any other jack-ass who doesn’t realize that giving the bling-bling a yank can permanently scar someone.

Plus, he’s in sports, which limits options…

Or he might not realize that, at his age, the number of “nice earring, fag” comments he’s going get will far outweigh the positives. At his age, that kind of label can really bother him — it’s “Bad Different”, however much we show him that it’s not either Bad or Different.

Aside from those concerns, I do get it — it’s the teen thing — he wants to be an individual without being completely cut off from the rest of his peers: “I am a unique snowflake, but I’m still a snowflake like everyone else.”

It’s perfectly natural for him to want something that sets him apart in a mostly good way, <sarcasm>and getting a piercing is a hell of a lot easier than being star quarterback or valedictorian, right?</sarcasm> (:P)

I get it. I don’t know if he does.

I get it too.

I dunno. I don't know how many, "nice earring, fag" comments he's likely to get. Not that I think that that age group has gotten any kinder or gentler since I was in it (back in the stone age), but I'd think there's a lot more earring-wearing going on now.

I'd be more concerned (were I him) about what impression he's going to make on people he meets -- teachers, prospective girlfriends, prospetive girlfriends' parents, etc.

Ah, well. I'll tell you -- I can't wait for these sorts of things with Katherine ...

Does the boy read your blog? Might be a great way to explain your reservations to him.

Ask him how many of his male classmates have their ears pierced. Has he ever said to them "nice earring, fag"? And if the whole sports/earring thing is a problem, let him get his tongue pierced. Am I helping yet?

Well, I *was* going to say that an earring is a mild option, and a trendy thing, and it would be better than say, getting his nose pierced... but I think Bonnie trumped me on that one.

I'd be a bad mom. I don't see the problem. I did have to wait until I was sixteen to get my ears pierced... but that was an era ago. Before people were getting their infant baby girl's ears pierced... *shrug*

I do see the issue with the tear-out problem... maybe he has to get a job first, so he will have to pay the doctror to stitch it up, when the worst occurs? Dunno.

Very likely this is NOT helpful.

Well, we've hit on the final arrangement:

Ear pierced now (his expense, very likely).

Earring comes out and stays out for football season (which starts in about six weeks and lasts til November).

Earring can go back in (very likely requiring reopening of the hole) after Thanksgiving (because maternal Grandpa's visiting over the holiday -- forget Justin, *I* don't want to deal with the grief from that hassle).

That gets him the thing we made a deal for, gets it out for the first several months of Junior High so he can work out all the social dynamics without that added complication, and lets him decide if it's worth the hassle to put it back in (which I'm sure it will be).

As to ***Dave's point with Important Personage First Impressions -- well, yah rolls yer dice and yah takes your chances -- I've had the big silver thing in for my last three jobs and just compensated with my old trick of Being a Friggin' Genius :)

Jackie's Dad was less easy to win over, but when he's got a five-point list of 'good person' requirements and I hit 4 out of 5... well, you just learn to see the big picture.

Or ignore it. Either way.