Went and saw Signs this morning.

M. Night Shyamalan is a fine storyteller. As a study of how to tell a story well, Signs is as good an example as any movie. Joaquin Phoenix turns in a great performance full of life, humor, and realism. Mel Gibson, father of seven (!) in real life, is a completely believable parent.

That’s the good.

Now, I think anyone who knows me knows that I can suspend my disbelief above some pretty good-sized logic holes for the sake of a story — it doesn’t bother me, for example, that they don’t explain how the big critters in Pitch Black can fly (they certainly couldn’t on Earth) — they obviously can fly (since they do it all through the movie) and explaining it isn’t important to the story — it might satisfy some of my geeky curiosity, but it’s of no real import. Logic holes up to a certain size don’t really bother me.

Signs, certainly a finely-told story, is, substantively, nothing but Hole.

Let me put that more clearly: certain plot points imply things that are simply too ridiculous to ignore.

Spoilers below.

Tips for Aliens Intent on Attacking Another Planet:

1. If 70% of the target planet is covered in a substance that melts your skin off and precipitation of said substance is common, wear protective clothing. Presumably, since you are a spacefaring race, you have the ability to construct clothing that will keep you dry.

If you cannot create such clothing, reconsider the invasion.

2. As a spacefaring race set on invasion, it behooves you to arrive with:

• Weapons.
• Clothing of any kind at all.
• Tools that would, at the very least, allow you to breach a pantry door.

If a building that you target with your full offensive ability is left looking as though it suffered nothing worse than household burglary and minor vandalism, reconsider the invasion.

3. If water melts you, you might want to rethink your abduction policy. It is not in your best interests (or believable) to abduct creatures (humans) that are 90% water… they will not make a good snack for someone of your physiology. If you are abducting them for study, consider using less than 400 ships hovering over all major cities — stealth is your ally.

If every living thing on the planet is mostly made up of a substance that is pure acid to you, reconsider the invasion. Whoever suggested this world as your next target might have been joking.

In short, M. Night needed an otherworldly threat that would arrive, be utterly terrifying, and then leave after one night. It is my opinion that he should have chosen anything at all but technologically superior aliens (they do have space flight*) that inexplicably attack the Earth nude and unarmed. (If they weren’t nude, see Tip #1.)

The parts of the story that work (the exploration of faith in the face of misfortune and uncertainty) work very well. The parts that don’t work… really don’t work.

You know, that's what I was afraid of with Signs.

I saw Sixth Sense, and I hope I don't get sitebanned for this.

But I really didn't like it. Bruce got shot in the gut with a .22 or a .25, and we all know he has to have at least 15 HP there and those guns only do 1-4+1.

I think Shyamalan is a great story teller, but he doesn't nail the details, and thus I'm indifferent.

Pitch Black

The critters flight problems were made up for with the kickassness of their sonic sight and the SFX that went along with that.

I think the problems that Doyce pointed out (and I'm not knocking them from a logical standpoint) are more a failing of science fiction in general, than a failing of M. Night Shyamalan's.

Certainly, there have been exceptions (Predator being the most notable in my head), but the general depiction of aliens being little frail green or grey men that are rather weak once outside of their ships is pulled directly from classic science fiction.

Frail little naked dudes, with weaknesses to sunlight or water or somesuch, that never have tools (other than their anal probers) or flight suits or weapons. At least these guys could do that thing that they did to the boy near the end there.

M. Night is not truly a science fiction writer. The movie wasn't supposed to be Independence Day, or Predator, or Alien.

The alien invasion was a backdrop, a disaster each viewer could identify with. Signs could have been about a flood, or a tornado, or some other natural disaster. But certainly someone would step forward with a "mud doesn't flow like that in a flood" criticism.

He used well-recognized elements drawn from generic science fiction, so that the viewers would all be on the same page as to what the threat was without spending valuable time getting people on the same page.

If he had to spend hours explaining why the aliens were so much more kick ass than we are, there wouldn't be any room for the good stuff.

And as Doyce said, the parts that work work very well.

Yeah, but Mel Gibson already did a flood movie....

Well... my husband and I argued about the water plot hole forever... still do actually... he finally writes it off as saying, "they must be really desperate."

Or... (sorry for the double post) he thinks maybe it could be explained as it didnt' damage them, but it screwed with their camouflage. Of course, they did make it seem like it was the water that killed the critter in the end. Ah well, I was able to look past that GLARING hole somehow and loved the movie!