Talking with an editor today, Adobe Pagemaker came up.

I’m not a big Pagemaker fan. I’m not shy about it. I’ve never claimed there’s something better out there, but being on the top of a shallow podium isn’t much of an achievement, and I was explaining why I didn’t care for it (mostly because it’s really old and hasn’t incorporated some really very handy shortcuts into it’s basic package even now).

Today, helped along by the (otherwise useless) drugs the doctor gave me yesterday (And why does every doc have to try something NEW? The last thing they gave me WORKED. USE IT.), my mind made a little leap and personified Pagemaker.

Pagemaker has a french accent, apparently.

Me (as Pagemaker): “No no, we do not use ze… how do you say… ze ‘control-b’ to boldface ze font. You will use ze button; eet ees right zere, poosh eet! We do not use ze ‘Ot Keys’ at all; eet ees barbaric. We are not Word, you stoopid man, we are not Meecrosoft, Eeediot.”

I think it’s just that the learning curve is so high that no one wants to use or create something else — too much time already invested.

And PageMaker is odd news. InDesign is its replacement. I have no intention of upgrading anytime soon, but there it is.

Actually, I absolutely love Pagemaker, once I got the hang of it. Since my only copy is on my (currently dead) machine, I've been yelling and doing my version of swearing at MS Publisher.

And I thought it had an English accent. Very calm, very reasonable, and didn't think I knew anything because I was an American.

InDesign is better than Pagebreaker for the most part but they both suck.

Quark's customer attitude and tech support suck way more than Adobe's.

I think Adobe's attitidue is Scottish. If it's noot Adobe tis Crap! Nooo you stupid man with the massive cranium, we've taken all yur RGB profiles and switched them over to 'won that looks best on Windddooows. We doona care if you 70 percent of our installed base in on Mac, we decided fur ye and if you don't like it tis crap! And ta fix the problum, well laddie wait for the next pay upgrade!