So we got a letter from the HOA this week:

Dear Homeowner, As a Highland Ranch homeowner [good redundancy is good], we know you take pride in your property.

It is our desire to drive you fucking insane work with each homeowner to support them in keeping the cummuntiy (sic) well maintained…

…while being sensitive to the current drought situation.

Recently, we noticed that your landscape wasn’t covered in burnished gold is showing signs of stress or that there are dead areas in the landscaping. (Like the stress you’re feeling now, or the dead patches of hair you’re pulling out while reading this.)

We would like to share some resources with you that may assist you in maintenance of your property.

Homeowners have the option of adding xeriscape to their properties.

Enclosed is a fact sheet outlining the Residential Improvement Guideline on seriscape submittals.

This letter serves as a first notice of noncomplicance as outlined in Section 2.41 of the RIG — not that anyone reads that crap — hell, we don’t even do that, we just hate you.

We appreciate your efforts to work with us and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Do you? Well, that’s good, because Jackie got this letter first, and let me assure you that ‘hearing from us’ is on the agenda.

I should point out that about 70% of everything on the front lawn is in "Goddamn it's friggin' hot" mid-summer wither-dormancy.

Let them have it Jackie!!!!! Those people who ever they are; are nuts!! I swear I believe they have nothing else to do but dream up stupid letters. I don't think they have a clue! My opinion--I think it looks great!! Do they not remember what it used to look like? They also forgot about the watering restriction. Maybe they missed that letter! Any way give 'em Hell!

I think the idea of sending them pictures of the less-than-lush common areas is a fine one. Jerks.

The message being that, if you don't have a solid green lawn like everyone else, not only have the terrorists won, but they will send you letters like this.

Glad we don't live in an HOA. Our lawn doesn't get watered unless A) it rains, like God intended; or B) the kids want to run through the sprinkler. No only does it cut down on my water bill but it also limits how much Reggie or Paige have to mow!!